Be the bridge
About a year ago, a friend called me at 10:55 p.m. on a Sunday night. Not unusual – we sneak in catch up times whenever we can. But I knew this call was different. I also knew that the call would last a few hours, translating into a long night ahead for both of us. But it didn’t matter. Talk we did.
Canadians are increasingly recognizing the importance of discussing what’s on their minds* and it’s critical we answer the call when it comes in. We may not be trained psychological experts, but there’s something to be said about how powerful our response can be when someone turns to us for guidance.
By age 40, about 50% of the Canadian population will have or had a mental health illness**.
It takes courage to open up – in fact, a recent study*** suggests that despite the fact that Canadians recognize the importance of reaching out, we worry about the repercussions if a mental health concern is shared. Loss of friends, reputational impacts, loss of job or impact on overall well-being are some of the commonly expressed concerns.
So, let’s say someone comes to you with a mental health concern. What can you do to help? Your job is to bridge someone towards exploring possible support options. It sounds overwhelming when you think about it because you may worry you might say the wrong thing. But by making time to routinely reflect on what you can do, and what to say, you’ll get stronger as a mental health ally.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when communicating with someone who is experiencing a mental health concern:
Listen. It’s as simple as that.
Paraphrase. This will help keep the conversation focused, objective, and safe.
Forget about what you think. Suspend judgement and park your advice on the situation.
Express empathy. Really mean it too.
Guide your friend or loved one to available resources.
If someone is choking, do you wait for an ambulance to arrive before offering some help? Get trained on how you can offer mental health support to your friends, loved ones or peers. Learn more about Mental Health First Aid Training, offered by the Mental Health Commission of Canada.
Point number five is important. Spend time researching mental health support options available in your community. Be curious about what’s out there because you never know when it might just be the right support option for someone. Or even yourself.
Bookmark this mental health resource list I created not too long ago. Share it with people you know too.
The connection we help make for people is more than just putting information into their hands. It’s about offering comfort and demonstrating that you’ve heard them, you’re there for them, and that you’ll walk right beside them as they get the help they may need.
One in five Canadians are suffering from a mental health concern****. We have the unprecedented opportunity now more than ever to step it up when it comes to showing our support. Too many of us walk around with a heavy weight on our shoulders – life isn’t easy, despite how beautiful it can be. Let’s help lighten the load with thoughtful and considerate well-being resource recommendations.
After all, what are friends for?
References:
*Benefits Canada, September 24, 2019
**Canadian Mental Health Association
***Benefits Canada, September 24, 2019
****Mental Health Commission of Canada
Stay tuned because my next post will look at what you can do if you suspect someone needs help but hasn’t indicated that they do. Or maybe they have. Let’s redefine what it means to notice.
