One for all
If you tuned into the royal wedding this past weekend, you’d have watched as Bishop Michael Curry delivered his now famous sermon. His message about unselfish, hopeful and life-changing love was clear. The newly married couple, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, are undergoing significant humanitarian efforts to change the world; it’s no wonder the sermon was weaved into their wedding program.
Thinking about our own humble circles, the notions conveyed aren’t lost on us.
As psychologist Daniel Baton believes, altruism isn’t about heroic help but rather is a “particular form of motivation – motivation with the ultimate goal of increasing another’s well-being.”
I maintain the position that we live in a hopeful and kind world – a world where optimism can be inspired by uncomplicated gestures. Or as Baton affirms, “To find persuasive evidence for the existence of altruism, we shall have to move to beyond dramatic cases. They simply are not up to the task.”
Growing up, my brother and I would spend time with our paternal grandparents in Montreal. My grandfather in particular very much embodied the impassioned spirit Bishop Curry spoke about on May 19 and one of my most cherished and fondest memories goes like this.
At the edge of my grandparent’s street was a small convenience store. Joined by our cousins, my brother and I would play outside for hours. One August day back in 1989, our grandfather announced he'd be right back with popsicles and well, we were over the moon.
The Iacono clan consisted of 7 grandkids. My grandfather returned with a bag full of popsicles. 20 in total to be exact.
“Un pour chacun,” he shouted out. A popsicle for each of his grandkids and one for each of the neighbouring kids we were playing with too.
Generous we could say. Very much so. But more than that.
Exquisitely beautiful.
I remember the feelings I had watching this all play out. I soaked it in and I like to think that the experience was imprinted on my heart in honour of my grandfather. I love recreating (or at least try to) feelings of inclusivity and particularity in my work and home. Looking back, he did this repeatedly. My grandfather was welcoming and made people feel special because to him, they were.
After gobbling up their popsicles, some of the kids ran home to tell their parents what they had just enjoyed. In French one explained, “Our neighbour with the roses surprised the rest of us too!”. My grandfather took pride in his rose garden and later that day, while he sprayed and pruned his plants, I asked him why he thought to include everyone in our treat.
I can still hear his voice. “Because Elena, we should never miss an opportunity to make other people feel involved, happy, and cared for.”
Whether it be within our communities, at work or our homes, ask yourself: what am I doing to create a better now for others?
Cultivating altruism – creating better experiences for others – should be a way of being. As Kristen Monroe affirms, “Altruists simply have a different way of seeing things. When the rest of us see a stranger, altruists see a fellow human being.”
Perhaps we need visual cues to be inspired. A token of remembrance to help us channel this mindset. Whatever works for you, stay inspired to let goodness lead the way.
In thinking this way, my very own rose garden might just be my prompt. Every time a light breeze carries the perfume of a fragrant rose, I’m taken right back to my grandfather’s yard and can hear the kids marveling that they too were thought of.
As Bishop Curry explained, “Oh there’s power, power in love. Not just in romantic forms, but any form, any shape of love. There’s a certain sense in which when you are loved and you know it, when someone cares for you, and you know it, when you love and you show it – it actually feels right. There is something right about it. And there’s a reason for it. The reason has to do with the source.”
It sure does.
Us.
